Haiz..... i feel sooooo confused rite nw. i juz realised tat i'm nt on gd terms wif my family. On the surface, yes, but deep down inside, no. wat will u feel when yer sis called u a bitch? No wonder she changed her blog address n never let me know abt it. Nw that i found out, n read it, i realise that deep down inside, she really hate me. Kui i still so naive de treat her so good. What do i do now? i'm so confused. so bloody confused. sometimes i really wish to end my life there n then. i really wish to heck care them, but i can't do it. i juz simply can't bear to do it. OMG OMG, what do i do? What have i done to make her hate me so much? suddenly i feel so alone. All alone in the black world of my own. No one can open the door and come in, n i dont have to key to open it to go out. Rite now, i really wish to find a job overseas and leave. Never come back. Though i will bu se de, but who will care abt me when i leave? after i leave, my family will be complete. A father, a mother and 2 kids. Even number, the perfect number. To think that they'll miss me, i must've thought too much. i reckon, they'll be so happy that they dont even have to time to miss me. i bet, in short 2 weeks, they'll completely forget abt me.

what am i gng to do now? can anyone teach me?i really hate myself!!!!!!!!!!! how i wish i can juz drop dead rite now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!