What has happened to me? I think my "ren nai du" has come to a limit. I've been controlling my temper recently. I've been so emo these few weeks. I've been so down these weeks. Ever since my argument with her.

Sometimes I really can't stand her. What's so good about her? Why so many people likes her? Yes I know I'm just a piece of shit that nobody cares. My friends take me for granted, my parents showered all their attention to my siblings, no one has really cared about me. It seems like I can't really say anything. Not even in my personal public blog..... I can only say it in here where others can't see it.

I guess I'm really a piece of shit, cow-dung. Why do I continue living on this earth? Maybe I should have been long gone, yet I stayed alive til now. Why Why Why Why Why???

Dear god, why don't you take me away? I wish you take me away right this minute. You can send me to hell if you wish, just take me away from this place........................

God, please, I'm begging you, take me away. I really wish for you to take me away. I have no reason to stay alive any longer.

Sometimes I really admire those whose parents showered them with love. Their parents will hug then for basically no reason at all, treated their children as their best friends.

Dear god, am I destined to be lonely forever til I die? ah, how stupid am I, you have told me the answer. Yes, you've told me your answer. I have expected your answer, but still, I'm shocked at your answer. Do you answer what I expected or is that your own answer?

Why am I the person I am now? Why did I become the way I behave now? Why? I want to know why. Why am I the good-for-nothing person I am now? I've tried to change it, but I can't. No matter what. Oh god, please help me...... I need help....................